Revamping your life 101.

I'd like to think over the past couple of months, i've made an effort to find myself. Not like those cliched, struggling artists on TV but found a way to get off my ass and do something about the things that pissed me off about my life.

I've always been an optimistic person, class half full and all that jazz, but one day I looked at myself and went, 'Really? Damn girl, wtf?'. I was a mess, but worse than that, I was in denial about being a mess. I'll never be a rational, sensible person. My brain is too scatterbrained for that, and i'll never try to pretend to be someone that i'm not. But there is a clear line between letting the chips fall where they may and letting life slip you by. I was the latter.

So I changed who I was. Not just like that, but there was a small moment where the lightning struck my mishmashed brain and I zoned in on my own ridiculousness. It was time to grow up and get on with it. Now i'm not saying this method will work for everything, but it sure as hell worked for me. I needed a good whack up the side of the head, and thankfully, I was enough of a bitch to my own conscience that I got myself in gear.

The first thing that needed to go was the way I was viewing myself. A positive outlook on life is no use if you can't stand the sight of yourself. I was overweight, that much was clear, but that wasn't the issue, you can be overweight and feel fantastic and I admire those people more than I can say. I felt crap about my body, all the time, and it sucked. Doing something about it was, and probably still is the most liberating thing i've ever done. In 4 months i'm almost done with what I thought I could never do, currently weighing 60kgs (132lbs) with a little still to lose and feeling absolutely fucking fabulous. Feeling good about your body is like letting the sun shine on your skin every second of the day, and i'll never, ever let this feeling go.

I now care what I look like when I walk out the door. I take the time look good and in turn it makes me feel good. I'm wearing things I never would have before. It also made me realise just how confident I thought I was, but that I was lying to myself (very convincingly, I might add).

Then what? I revamped my friends. I ditched the ones bringing me down and cherished the ones who rocked my world, I lavished myself in their company. I socialised. A lot. I was surprised at how much this increased human interaction improved my mood. Even though typically I was an independent and solitary person, the contact with others was a drug, the more I was given, the more I craved it. I used to spend so much time at home, curled up on the couch watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer until I realised that learning how to slay demons would not help me experience the world, meet new people or explore new ways to enjoy life. Now I get up early and get home late and love every second of it.

I cleared out my wardrobe, filled it with bright colours and fun patterns to show off my new found love of everything. I wore a new coloured lipstick every day, I smiled at everyone new I met. My house is now filled with pretty, useless, inspiring objects that make me either laugh spontaneously or remind me of a time where I was happy. Daffodils have made a permanent home on my desk, it now feels empty in their absence.

I like to call myself a work in progress, on the way to being something awesome. I hope I don't get there anytime soon because being on this crazy road is just to much bloody fun. Every day I am finding new things to fill my life with colour and substance, new reasons to look around the corner for the next treasure of this existence. I was to see, smell, taste, hear, feel everything, know all there is to know, do all there is to do. I want to travel to places of grandeur and places that nobody has been. I want see it all and then write it all down. I want, I want, I want.

Hoping this ramble makes sense, because i'm not going back and looking it over. I've got places to be.

Oh wait - she's alive?

So I subconsciously killed this blog. Not really, I just forgot about it. Or I had other things to do. Or whatever. Point being, I haven't written in here for over a year. Nice one.

So why now?

I could say i'm bored, which is half true. I could say i'm interested to see who will listen if I continue this thing, which is mostly true. But I think it's just because i've gotten to a stage in my life where I want people to listen to what i've got to say.

Most of the time it will be rubbish, but maybe for a few brief moments i'll make sense to someone else out there.

I don't know what i'll talk about or even if i'll remember to write again in a few days time, but who cares? That's life. In the mean time, let's enjoy my frivolity and get talking, doing, seeing. I do a lot of some and not enough of others, maybe this blog will help me fix the things i've missed. And maybe i'll reveal a few things on here that I didn't think would be ready for anyone else to hear.

I wonder.

NCDC - It's here!

I told you in my last post that NCDC was coming, and yes i've been a little slack with the updates but I finally got the piccies uploaded! All I can say is what a weekend! It was as fabulous as last time and the time before that, and it gets bigger every year. And, it was a chance for me to really put my camera through it's paces with some fly-by action shots!

{ Jess getting her face on for the latin section }

The fashions this year were particularly nice. In the past years there have been some truly awful trends, ruffles, highlighter colours, the works. This year they toned down the colours and everything was a whole lot more elegant, and more about the rhinestones and the beading, as well as the way the dresses moved about the floor.

Beautiful colours, beautiful volume. Guh.

And then there were the.....not so pretty ones. There are always a few every year...

..Oh dear. There was another I didn't get a photo of, highlighter yellow and leopard print. Geez. What were they thinking?

This was the standout dress for me out of the whole weekend. Just gorgeous. The flow and movement when they got going was breathtaking, and the wrapping around the bodice captured the light so perfectly. The only downside was there was a LOT of white dresses around this year, though this one stole the show in every event it was in.

{ This is Julia, one of the most naturally gifted up and coming young dancers out there at the moment. Isn't she divine? If you saw her on the floor, your mouth would drop, how could someone so young be so damn talented?

{ I LOVED these little flowers in her hair, icing on the cake }

Now, I've saved the best until last. Feast your eyes on the showcase for the evening, the top of the dancing chain, the best pair of latin dancers in the entire world, Riccardo Cocchi and Yulia Zagoruychenko. They. are. ......I can't even describe them. Riccardo is a sex god, let's put it that way, he commands the stage so brilliantly, that as soon as he starts to dance everyone is in complete awe. And Yulia, oh lord, you have never seen anyone move the way she does. She is like melted butter, sex on legs, I want to BE her. God. They honoured us with their presence and did not disappoint. I snapped a few lucky shots of their magnificence.

KAJDGLKJGKKDJGJ. So amazing, I am speechless.

As I knew I would, I had a complete ball. For my dance friends and I, it's one hell of a party.

countdown to NCDC

Just a quick post today. I've got the National Capital Danceport Championships coming up, which every year just get better and better. Hundreds of couples flock to the AIS in Canberra to compete. My dance school, Penny De Kauwe hosts it every year so its a full two days of hard work for me! In return for helping out I get in for free and get hours and hours of viewing pleasure in fabulous seats, then get to rock up at the awesome afterparty and dance the night away!

{anyone else think I need some new shoes? My old pair are getting rather dishevelled. Poor things.}

That goddamn show.

Jesse is a friend.

Yeah I know, he's been a good friend of mine.

But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define,

Jesse's got himself a girl and I wanna make her mine.

I try not to completely adore it. I do try. The script is terrible and the characters are oh so predictable but you know what? It's freaking awesome.

...........bought Volume 1 yesterday for the hell of it.

Wedges. Yummeh.

Well hiiii there. Haven't posted in a couple of days, I guess nothing thrilling has happened. I went out to a late lunch with a friend, Sandy, the other day. She had the lemon chicken with seasoned wedges and I had the Calamari. It had this cinnamon-ey stuff on top that was completely delish!

{yay for Sandra-dee!}

As you can see, we drank our weight in diet coke. Mmmmm.

On another note, it's been 4 days since my last shift, this has to be the longest break from work i've had since I started working at the store. ....Its nice! :D

Nintendo and Alcohol

A day off from work + frosty chill + nowhere to be = a lazy, alcoholic game playing day in bed. Bliss.